my heart vs. my throat

"The tree that grows where tempests toss its boughs and bend its trunk often almost to breaking, is often more firmly rooted than the tree which grows in the sequestered valley where no storm ever brings stress or strain. The same is true of life. The grandest character is grown in hardship." - Mrs. Cowman

Something about having grand character appeals to me. But I forget that every single time I go through something even a bit straining. When life is really just bothering me, I feel as if my mood, let alone my character, is no where near grand or appealing. Why is it that every time I read something like this, it makes perfect sense in my mind...but then when I'm living it, I feel as if the world is going to implode?

Maybe I need to stick post-it notes up all over the place. On my desk, on my mirror, on my computer, completely around my that I don't get so caught up in the worldliness of the world and I remember Him. When my 'wants' blow away and my concept of normal fails, I feel as though I almost intentionally let everything else drown out God.

My mind is so stubborn. Or maybe my heart. Or is it my heart? We learned in Anthropology today that this tribe in South America considers the throat to be the center of the human. If a person loses the ability to speak, they are considered dead. Everything circles around the throat in their culture, just as everything circles around the heart in ours. I wonder if they consider their throat to be the center of all their emotions when a family loses a loved one, do their throats break? That seems like such a violent picture, but then again, a heart breaking could be pretty gruesome too.

Well, from now on, I'm going to will my mind, or heart, or throat or whatever it is, to acknowledge God next time I am all disoriented. When I can't make sense of my day, when it feels immature to discuss it, when nothing of importance happens all week - that is when I need to consult the Lord.