I am one of those people who needs to have at least some unplanned, unorganized time in my day. If I can have an entire evening that is unplanned, even better. Without this open time, I can very easily become irritable, stressed, or pull inward to myself in an unhealthy way. I know some people love schedules and love having every minute organized out...and they are good at it. These people have large plates. Platters in fact. Maybe the whole kitchen counter. Not me.
There is nothing that fills me more than having entire Thursday night or a whole Saturday square in my calendar that is completely white to leisurely sit in my apartment, drink coffee, read (Bible, Hind's Feet, or actually do my Lit class readings), write, bake, etc. Lately there has not been a lot of this time. Celly keeps telling me that we have to have an Africa Day. And soon (see Africa Days). I've been thinking about getting up extra early in the morning to compensate for this lack of time in the afternoons and evenings. However, this also could be an issue. Waking up prematurely and quickly has never been a strength. It is a goal of mine to become a morning person at some point in my life.
Don't get me wrong, I love being involved in ministry and church so soo much. I love school - I really do, I think my classes are so interesting and I feel very blessed to have the opportunity to be educated. More than anything, I love being with people and hearing the deepness in their hearts. But I have to check myself in all of this. Last year, we had an in-service for Res Life where Paul Bradley (one of the student deans) reminded us that there is no way to pour yourself out to others if your own cup is empty or dwindling. You have to go to the water source, first, yourself, and be filled in order to do this.
In my Counseling of Children class, my psych professor taught us the acronym H.A.L.T. She said if you are "hungry," "angry," "lonely," or "tired," you need to stop, and take time for yourself. The entire class snorted as most of us could easily admit that we were 3 out of 4 of those words at any given point during the day.
It's only been 1 month since school has started. I am feeling the pull. What do I think this means? God is calling me to some planned rest. This is hard for me to do, but I'm getting better at learning to say no. Being self aware is good, but it is pointless if you don't do anything about it. Are you feeling like you need to "halt"? And, like, now? Then do it. And be filled.
Sitting at Jesus' feet sounds so restful right now.